Under Super Stress.....

I'm just completing the 7th day of 2009 and it was like going thru a brand new year in a brand new way... And with or without anticipation, i t will absolutely a year with 'wonders' and 'challenge'!

At this point of time, finally I started to scene the 'seriousness' or the real impact of 'reality'...
I'm wonder whether I'm too positive or I'm just trying to be not that 'skeptic' abt reports in the newspapers or analysis made by experts ... and keep my thinking and emotion in positive mode all the time... I know that the situation is bad or we are at crisis now.. but.. I still tends to calm and ensure things is done at a proper ways.. but I always hear ppl screaming that since we are in 'crisis' things need to be done in a split second and MUST BE DONE and TARGET need to be ACHIEVED!

After much reflection of my career lives, to be frank; I'm ashamed of myself! Not to boast abt what the success that I have achieved for the company but in personal growth wise; I just felt that I'm not growing and started to move downwards instead of forward! Guess... I have given myself too much excuse that I have done my best and this is my best.. I HAVE STOPPED GROWING! and this is the DANGER!!!

Today, one of my colleague approaches me for advice and guidance as I'm one of the seniors or old folk that still survived... I've doing my very best to encourage and motivate her to be positive as I want her to 'recharge' once again so that she can continue fighting the war... But when I'm in the midst of persuading and advice her... internally I felt so guilty that I have even more negative emotion or emotionless towards what has happened around... I felt like a hypocrite! Oh God.. help me! As a senior... I have to encourage and pull ppl up.. I cant let down be as down as me.. otherwise the ship will sink... But.. I need fresh air...

It's great to have some talks with old friends and it helps to refresh myself... but sometimes the conversation will go head wire until every single 'nonsense' makes sense.. hahaha...
And this helps to bright the day!

As I reflected back when I'm still teenage, yes.. to be frank; I always hope to be grown up so that I have all the freedom I want to do whatever things that I like. My parents will have NO say to stop me from buying anything since I'm no longer using their money and no exams to worry about. But as I looked at myself. I have put one leg into career, one leg into studies and one hands to God's work and one hands for my own. Especially now... when the economy is so bad; not to mention what I read from news... but now I'm experiencing it... It is quite unbearable and tough for me to handle.. and the stress level is increasing every single days and I dont know how long I can stand it...!!

One things which I'm most disappointed was friend's betrayal which has further demotivated me! However, I truly understand that it's very common for everyone to take care of their rice bowl and own interested when crisis arises! Betrayal is hurt but good too so that I know that never ever put ur trust on people but ON GOD! Even I have been working for more than 5 yrs; however my 'exposure' to the 'world' is still very limited as everyone around me seems to be angels! I'm always the BLESSED one and I've counted myself BLESSED too. So I truly believed I have to out to the 'real world' to learn more lesson and protect myself more; ignorant and naive will kill me one day! So.. WAKE UP TRACY!

Week 1 of 2009..........

I'm going thru my Week 1 2009 with ......... wedding ceremony and wedding dinner.... !!
It's a busy weekend for me as I need to attend two friends wedding... one in PJ and one in Seremban (Sat and Sunday) and there.. goes my weekend....!!

The wedding dinner in Seremban on Saturday was a great one! I only knew the bridegroom who was my ex-Nilai College course mate and Suki who purposely took leave to attend the wedding. During the dinner time, the first 2 hrs was complete awkward and silent as we knew non of the ppl that sit on the same table with us. However, when another 3 complete stranger that rushed from Singapore to the wedding dinner appeared... The whole atmosphere changed! Two of them were from Taiwan and they came to tour around Malaysia and Singapore. The couple opened a shop to 'fool' ppl that located at Si Meng Ting, Taiwan. They gave me their name cards and to be frank, I planned to visit them whenever I went to Taiwan. On top of the great parts were they bring along their 'tools', 'gadgets' and 'stuffs' with them! And they tricked the ppl at our table.. we have a great time chit chat and fooling ppl around the table... It's great to get to know new friends...

I had another wedding dinner just now, it was more towards 'french' + Chinese cause got 'yam seng' part... Hahaha.. it's a buffet style and free seating function.. Very relax and comfortable environment... Aiks.. it seems that I have 'overdress'.. which seldom happened to me.. (hahahaha.. or never happen as I always 'under dress'..)

Year 2009 as I have already predicted in Dec 2008; will be the most blessed year as it's a year where all my friends will send me invitation cards to attend their wedding.. Up to today date, the confirmed wedding dinner with date that I received is 3 and there's 2 couples that pending to confirmed the final date and another 2 more couple, I have predicted that they will send me the cards anytime without any early notice.... Guys... if you are not in the list here... please do let me know in advance as I really have 'limited' time nowadays... ... (ahem.. don't think too much lar.... me .. student now.. have to rush assignment ar.... )