~ Fully Relly On God for Nothing Is Impossible! ~

Gonna Miss you dearly............

2009-06-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

Suppose now... it's the time for me to do my revision and get myself prepared for my coming exam... but.. the feeling within me... aiks.. has kept reminding me..that I'm gonna miss you dearly....

Guess... this is not only referring to you only... but all of you...
I will never forget the time we fight the battle together...
The time we hold each others up, the time we hugged each others, encourage each others, fooling and 'flirting' around... The time we shared our heart and our tears....our joy and sadness together...

You.. dear... is the one that saw me crying and knowing that I dont need any WORDS.. but just a listening ears... and be by my side. You... dear is always there to cheer up my days whenever I'm blue and remind me to smile always as my 'cool' face scared guys away...

Since now you are leaving... ... I started to feel 'empty' inside and missing you alot.....
Lives goes on.. things changed... I prayed that our friendship will always remains.
No matter how our future will be.. you are still my BEST buddies...
All the wonderful memories that we had .. I have locked it deep down in my heart and seal it.
No one can take it away........

I pray that God will watch over you and be with you, my dear. Luv you always....

My First Time ......... Attend BM Revival Meeting

2009-05-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

As a Christian for so... long.. Shame to myself that I haven't really attended any BM language revival meeting before ... even though I went to BM Service in my church few years back but.. never to the Revival Meeting which is among the 'most happening' event in town!!!

Thank God that my colleague who is so passionate with BM speaking people want me to bring him there... so no choice but have to go and let go of my badminton session lor..

But... God is good! He wont let me go home with empty hand but I'm so blessed that the speaker Daud Tony is so humorous and learning alot from his testimony... Thanks God.. that I understand 90% of what he said as he speak Bahasa Indonesia.. (thanks to my job as I need to speak Bahasa Indonesia too... with my Indonesia colleague)..

Besides from the great testimony sharing, I felt that there's an urgency to reach out and I dont know why but during 'altar call' time.. when I see the crowd moving towards the altar... once again... I sense God's grace and mercy upon all of us... I see the need to pray for the ppl ...... but I just stand at the same place as I know not what to do... as there's alot of ppl and there's leaders too..... (shame on me... again for not knowing that I'm host... but I cant pray in BM/BI!) Aiks....
But... everything is in control as we have great usher and BM leaders...... thanks to them.

After the meeting, while I'm waiting for my friend getting his bibles and CD's of the speaker.
Guess what I get during the 'waiting moment' ........ the warm from the bros and sis from BM speaking congregation ... we greet each others and exchanged peace!!! I haven't experience this for years wat I mean is without ppl on the stage asking u to do it.. but naturally greet you because they want to greet u!!!! ( I know lar... shame on me again!) But tonite.. is really an eye opening... as I come as I need to bring my friend... but what I gained is much more than I expected and this once again reminds me......... GOD is GREAT!!

Living in FEAR!!!

2009-04-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

In lives, you meet with all kinds of people..
There's one that jokes with you, care, love, kind, just be there for you whenever you need them...
There's one that you hope that they never come across your lives and you don't wish they are there... (sorry for 'judging' or discriminating') but I'm just saying what I felt now...

This week.. has been a 'dramatic' week as...
My colleague's handbag was snatched by motorbiker just right in front my office! And when I heard the screaming shout and ran out... everything has just 'over'... But thank God, she was 'unhurt' as there's no 'parang' or 'bleeding' incident.... and her loss was only all the '$$' in the bags...
Thru this incident, it has reminded us once again to be extra careful and cautious all the time.. And it has indirectly telling all of us that we are actually LIVING IN FEAR!!!
What has happen to our society!!!! Why there's no helping hands at all and people just stand there and SEE SEE LOOK LOOK!!!

It's April.... Q1 09 was a history...

2009-04-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

People tends to do their yearly resolutions and I believe for me... Quarterly evaluation will be more meaningful to me as it helps to remind myself to treasure the time that I have in the world to do more things for the LORD, my family and people around me.

But what have I done throughout the past 3mths? Erm... not to mention on the Chinese New Year celebration that I had in FEB and visiting new place such Medan for the first time in January and tomorrow I will visiting Surabaya.. I have been 'extremely' addicted to do 'Global Trotting' and my current record is out of Malaysia every 3 mth since 2008! There's alot of plan in my mind.. plans will remain as plans and dream will only dream if there's NO ACTION! Where is my next destination? SECRET... :-p

超无聊！！超闷！！

2009-03-24T06:47:00.000-07:00

我要发霉了！我快顶不顺了！
生活无聊，工作无反向，感情无靠岸，唉。。。。　好灰阿！！
我已不耐烦了。。我好想离开这地方。。。
我可以远走高飞吗？不顾一切的奔向我要的生活和我要走的路吗？

勇气啊！勇气啊！
你在哪里？？

我要睡觉！！！

2009-03-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

惨了！我太紧张了。。。因为我要见南美来的客人与商场上的朋友们。。。
我想是因为什么准备也没做所以难以入眠。。。　已经是一点了。。。我还很精神很有活力。。惨了要变成熊猫眼见人了。。。我要怎样呢！！

上帝啊！！您一定要看护我啊！让我有个足够的睡眠来应付今天！！

找回自己。。。

2009-03-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

好多时后，大家都认为一个三十快到的女生是熟女。
视她为见过世面，懂得大体，和往往都会在适当的时候保护自己不让自己受到任何的伤害女生。
烦恼与压力已经是生活上的一部分，狂风暴雨早就视为家常便饭了。

其实我也在反反复复的问着我自己到底我有这些条件吗？
或者我应该说我有被真实的社会生活给淹没了我自己和我真正要的生活方式吗？
我想我早已有数。。。在很早很早以前。。我已迷失了方向迷失了我自己。。。

小时候，我真的以为城市生活是多姿多彩，ＯＬ是时尚女性的职业。。。
长大后才知道这些全是幻想是假象，成人的生活是有酸甜苦辣的，好景不会常在，　但雨后我都会抱着看到彩虹的希望。希望归希望，路还是要走。。。要往那个方向呢？相信只有我自己知了！

流浪和观看创造者所创造的世界是我一直以来的坚持，　但迈向熟女的路程。。　我想已渐渐的把它抛到脑后了。常听说当年级越大所可以做的事就会越来越少。。　活力以及冲击也会随着时间慢慢的消失。我好想找回我自己。。。找回那不怕天有多高，地有多厚，海有多深的自己。

我想。。。　要照会自己最好的方法就是行动吧！！！

要加油哦！！

CREDIT!!!

2009-02-28T00:54:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time that I didn't blogged....
Not that I have forgotten my blog.. but I don't know what to write...
Not to say that I have a very dull life.. .. erm.. maybe there's just too much and alot of stuff..Which I need to structure it out on the happenings and.. by that time.. the inspiration and mood.... hehhee... fly..

As I woke up early this morning which is an unusual things because it's weekend!
Guess it must be the alarm clock in my body.. what to do .. I'm an office lady... working 9-6..

Then suddenly I remember that I havent check my MBA last assignment result..
To be very frank.. I dont put high hope and I just pray that I will pass because the first assignment I just get a mere pass result and the second assignment... I completed it by taking EMERGENCY LEAVE!!! As usual.. I go to USQ connect.. and logon ... then it shows CREDIT!!! I dont trust my eye initially as I dont see my name on the page and I thought there must be some 'virus' or system error or an example of exams transcript result....
So I double checked it again thru the conventional way and read the comment from the lecturer for the second assignment!

Guess what!! She said.. " Overall a good assignment. Well done. "
I cant believe my eyes as I complete and submit the assignment 20mins before the due time of assignment submission! And this is without checking the spelling error, grammar or etc... as I have no time di....

Friends... As you read this... I'm not sharing how GENG I'm .. But How Great God is and How He has blessed me!
But please DO NOT use me as testimony that by last minutes also God will bless. Last minutes and burning midnite oil is NO FUN!! I have several sleepless nite and very tension weeks during that time! Taking emergency leave to complete the assignment is a NO NO NO thing! (I have no choice di....) At here, what I would like to say is that I wanna praise the LORD for his greatness and blessing to me all this while. With the result that I have, it really does encourage me to press on and no matter how bad it the economy, working places, career, personal life, at least I know I have do the right thing .. which is to gain as much knowledge as I can while I can!

Let all the PRAISE and GLORY be UNTO our LORD JESUS!! AMEN!

Under Super Stress.....

2009-01-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

I'm just completing the 7th day of 2009 and it was like going thru a brand new year in a brand new way... And with or without anticipation, i t will absolutely a year with 'wonders' and 'challenge'!

At this point of time, finally I started to scene the 'seriousness' or the real impact of 'reality'...
I'm wonder whether I'm too positive or I'm just trying to be not that 'skeptic' abt reports in the newspapers or analysis made by experts ... and keep my thinking and emotion in positive mode all the time... I know that the situation is bad or we are at crisis now.. but.. I still tends to calm and ensure things is done at a proper ways.. but I always hear ppl screaming that since we are in 'crisis' things need to be done in a split second and MUST BE DONE and TARGET need to be ACHIEVED!

After much reflection of my career lives, to be frank; I'm ashamed of myself! Not to boast abt what the success that I have achieved for the company but in personal growth wise; I just felt that I'm not growing and started to move downwards instead of forward! Guess... I have given myself too much excuse that I have done my best and this is my best.. I HAVE STOPPED GROWING! and this is the DANGER!!!

Today, one of my colleague approaches me for advice and guidance as I'm one of the seniors or old folk that still survived... I've doing my very best to encourage and motivate her to be positive as I want her to 'recharge' once again so that she can continue fighting the war... But when I'm in the midst of persuading and advice her... internally I felt so guilty that I have even more negative emotion or emotionless towards what has happened around... I felt like a hypocrite! Oh God.. help me! As a senior... I have to encourage and pull ppl up.. I cant let down be as down as me.. otherwise the ship will sink... But.. I need fresh air...

It's great to have some talks with old friends and it helps to refresh myself... but sometimes the conversation will go head wire until every single 'nonsense' makes sense.. hahaha...
And this helps to bright the day!

As I reflected back when I'm still teenage, yes.. to be frank; I always hope to be grown up so that I have all the freedom I want to do whatever things that I like. My parents will have NO say to stop me from buying anything since I'm no longer using their money and no exams to worry about. But as I looked at myself. I have put one leg into career, one leg into studies and one hands to God's work and one hands for my own. Especially now... when the economy is so bad; not to mention what I read from news... but now I'm experiencing it... It is quite unbearable and tough for me to handle.. and the stress level is increasing every single days and I dont know how long I can stand it...!!

One things which I'm most disappointed was friend's betrayal which has further demotivated me! However, I truly understand that it's very common for everyone to take care of their rice bowl and own interested when crisis arises! Betrayal is hurt but good too so that I know that never ever put ur trust on people but ON GOD! Even I have been working for more than 5 yrs; however my 'exposure' to the 'world' is still very limited as everyone around me seems to be angels! I'm always the BLESSED one and I've counted myself BLESSED too. So I truly believed I have to out to the 'real world' to learn more lesson and protect myself more; ignorant and naive will kill me one day! So.. WAKE UP TRACY!

Week 1 of 2009..........

2009-01-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

I'm going thru my Week 1 2009 with ......... wedding ceremony and wedding dinner.... !!
It's a busy weekend for me as I need to attend two friends wedding... one in PJ and one in Seremban (Sat and Sunday) and there.. goes my weekend....!!

The wedding dinner in Seremban on Saturday was a great one! I only knew the bridegroom who was my ex-Nilai College course mate and Suki who purposely took leave to attend the wedding. During the dinner time, the first 2 hrs was complete awkward and silent as we knew non of the ppl that sit on the same table with us. However, when another 3 complete stranger that rushed from Singapore to the wedding dinner appeared... The whole atmosphere changed! Two of them were from Taiwan and they came to tour around Malaysia and Singapore. The couple opened a shop to 'fool' ppl that located at Si Meng Ting, Taiwan. They gave me their name cards and to be frank, I planned to visit them whenever I went to Taiwan. On top of the great parts were they bring along their 'tools', 'gadgets' and 'stuffs' with them! And they tricked the ppl at our table.. we have a great time chit chat and fooling ppl around the table... It's great to get to know new friends...

I had another wedding dinner just now, it was more towards 'french' + Chinese cause got 'yam seng' part... Hahaha.. it's a buffet style and free seating function.. Very relax and comfortable environment... Aiks.. it seems that I have 'overdress'.. which seldom happened to me.. (hahahaha.. or never happen as I always 'under dress'..)

Year 2009 as I have already predicted in Dec 2008; will be the most blessed year as it's a year where all my friends will send me invitation cards to attend their wedding.. Up to today date, the confirmed wedding dinner with date that I received is 3 and there's 2 couples that pending to confirmed the final date and another 2 more couple, I have predicted that they will send me the cards anytime without any early notice.... Guys... if you are not in the list here... please do let me know in advance as I really have 'limited' time nowadays... ... (ahem.. don't think too much lar.... me .. student now.. have to rush assignment ar.... )

It's 2009 now!!!! Happy New Year to me and to you too....

2008-12-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

I'm having a totally different countdown this year in welcoming 2009 and saying good bye to 2008... I'm in the church for the countdown! It's kinda of 'weird' but good as it is the first ever in my live that I'm listening to my pastor preaching during midnite!!! Guys.. just imagine.. after the whole day of hectic workload that I have and then went for happy hours (surely have to go lar.. ) with my ji muis.. and then reached church.. with pinkies cheek...(aiks) then have to 'deal' with some 'kids' ... (no offense... I enjoyed it too... hahaha) after that... praise and worship... countdown.. preaching??? Not to mention myself lar.. our church top fisher also sleep once the preaching started lor... (shhh......) Thanks God ..it is done around 1sth morning.. hahaha not the whole nite till morning... (swt man...)

But... my new year celebration not just ended there man.....
A bunch of bros and sis were invited (erm.. not really invite... we just grabbed anyone.. hahahhaa) then pringles and sparkling juices are the main dishes for the supper.. hehehe...
Nothing much but just gathered everyone and MR. Lee enthusiamly organising next activities as it seems this is his last 'break' before chinese new yr.. hahaha.. I'm not joining.... (too old di to join them lar...) hahhaha

Merdeka!!! Merdeka!!! Finally... ...

2008-12-26T08:53:00.001-08:00

YES!!! I'm free finally!!!! The feeling is so good !!! I have lost it for months!!! The smell of freedom was so great that the night before the freedom; I texted Victor (my little brother) for movie to celebrate my long waited 'freedom'!!! kekeke.....

I've locked myself inside the room for more than 2 weeks with no movies, entertainment, shopping, games (on and off la..), dramas and sports....All friends calls for outing were NO NO NO!!! Sorry.. friends, you have to slowly count me OUT... please bear with me for another 2 more yrs? 3 yrs? 4yrs? I don't know but God knows!

Sometimes, I really wonder why I want to step into the world of countless assignments, tests, exams, essay writing and etc.... WHY making life once again so tough?? Aiks!! Again I remind myself :

ONCE DECISION IS MAKE AND DONE; NO REGRETS but PERSEVERE !!! :-( :-( :-(

Guys, I have another assignment to pass up before Chinese New Year....
Feel like crying now once I think about it.... But I thank God that I managed to pass up first assignment 1 hr before the due time.. Kekeke... and thanks also for my own procrastination! Aiks!

So.. 2yrs more? Or 3 yrs or 4 yrs? I really don't know guys.... and please just bear with me....
I have chose to walk this path so... I have to complete the journey... and keep reminding myself to persevere... and if you got time.. do remember me in your prayer.... as a working adult and postgraduate student..

God bless everyone!

I'm Clumsy and a Painter??? ;-Y

2008-12-19T17:59:00.000-08:00

I have drowning in my OB journals and books for more than 2 days; and have to take leave to push myself to get the first line of assignment started. It's a good punishment to me for being procrastinate and doing it last minutes! I thank God that supposedly the due date was yesterday and my assignment is still a blank piece of paper! But the university has extended the due date to 26th Dec so I have another 1 week to get it done! But I guessed I have only 2 days left as I've committed myself to help out the church in the Christmas Manna event! It's always good to serve the Lord! So I have to keep on push myself and get it done ASAP!

Even I'm rushing to get the assignment done, I still not forget to take a break and surf around the net and hehehe... of ocurse, play some games...

Smurf is one of my favourite cartoos and they are so.. cute... and I get to know that there's a personality test to test what Smurf am I and... here is the result!

To my surprise there's two results coming out from the test! However I read through the comment... I like the combination of the clumsy and painter! For Clumsy... It is so real as I always received the comment that I'm clueless .. hahahaha...and I believe it clashes with the Painter as it said that I'm expressiveand always expanding my way.. Erm.. I believe it will be the way that I express makes ppl feel that I'm cluesless... kekeke....

Time up lor... have to get myself drown again.....

God bless everyone!

Tired Tired Tired!

2008-12-17T16:02:00.000-08:00

Never in my life that I have a non-stop due date to meet especially it's year end!!! And all are my priorities! It's Christmas but what I have on my desk now are my assignment due date, unfinished work and business strategy. It's life bread and butter! I need my bread so that I can keep on living but I need my butter too as I want a better living!

After a day of rat racing, home is where I want to be but for my case.. it is another 'interesting' places where I need to deal with. It's always not easy life to live with housemate when that person that is totally different from you but the funny things is if they are your family member it is a different case. Everyone is unique and the toleration level is different... and I started to freaked out with the one in my house. Several times I have lost my patient as it has exceeded my toleration limit... to be frank, I don't really care or mind how others ppl live their and as long as they don't interrupt and affected my lives; I'm fine with it! Just imagine that when you reach home every night and your rubbish bin is always full with rubbish and smell is all over the places and a lazy bum is sitting at the sofa and watching Astro! This one I tolerated as I have no time to deal this 'small' stuff and silent is the best way for me to close one eye. But when a broom and mop started to be missing in action.. how you will feel? It's a house equipment, but that fella take it to the construction site for his biz usage!! U call this an owner of a company? I truly recommend his employee to think twice before sign the offer letter!!

There's all kinds of people in the world and people taking advantage of others are very common. But I guessed he has chosen the wrong time to mess up with my mood... :-(!!!!

Oh No!!! I'm in LUV......

2008-12-09T03:17:00.000-08:00

It is supposed to be my 'precious' moment to get my assignment 'polish' and 'done'. But I'm in luv....... with 機米 !!

Aiks.. I cant help myself but to post his masterpiece on my blog! Indeed, I did plan for my next trip back to Taiwan to get some of his wonderful art work back to M'sia! I'm not an art person but his masterpiece just too good not to be shared! Hahaha....

As I browse thru the comics collections that I have; I have decided to share this one. Every single piece of 機米's drawing has a story to tell. The lady in the drawing was a blind since birth and in her world there's always full of hopes. As I look at the picture; I just see myself in it. Now as if I'm living my life blinding without actually really know where I'm heading to. I know that for this 2 years ahead, I need to get my MBA done and complete. After that? There's alot of 'wild' dream behind my head and also of things that I want to do... Do I really have the 'guts' to do it? Can I really pay the cost? Again, as I look at this picture, the lady just walk thru the grass fence and yes, she cant see it and that's why she didnt hesitate and just went thru it.

But dont you think so that not seeing is better than seeing if seeing makes you lose your faith and at the end you cant reach your destination? ...

Bible did said it very clearly that " We live by faith, not by sight."2 Cor 5:7

It's December....and 2008 will be a history soon

2008-12-07T19:03:00.000-08:00

Time...just flies and waits for no man.
As I gone thru my virtual photos albums; I know that I'm blessed! In 2008 alone, I have been to Thailand twice- Krabi and Chiangmai; Singapore and Gold Coast.In terms of life experience, I have a lot 'first time' experience such as I saw Raflessia, went for rock climbing, driving alone in Australia, got hit by eggs, white water rafting and etc..

Friends comes friends goes.. in 2008; I have attended several's good friends wedding and also sending off 2 of my members to pursues their own dreams. All these seems to happen only yesterday and it's going to be a past and a part of my wonderful memories book in my heart. Throughout the journey, I gained a lot of happy and unforgettable moments and I thank God for them to be a part of my life journey in the world.

Since now, the year end is around the corner; if you ask me what I'm planning to do in 2009?? I have a long list of TO DO's planning in my mind but to make it all realize in 2009 is no longer possible.. as there's a lot 'BOMBs' are on the way and I have to cut my budget for my planning to bless them. :-) and I'm a student now... Those of you that closed to me know that everyday I'm shouting that I have assignment to rush, revision to do as exam is coming.. so... guess I have to plan my 2009 wisely already this round...Price to pay...

Still drafting my 2009 resolutions... have you done yours?

Regret? Give up? NO!

2008-11-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

Yo guys! It's my first day back to 'school' after 5 yrs... of break and 'free' lives with no 'exam' and 'assignment' commitment. Now, I have set a 'trap' for myself! As I prepared myself this noon for the induction class, my mind is full of wonders whether this place is the one that really suit me? the lecturers going to be with 'quality'? the course mate? and.. all 'wonderful imaginations' are in my mind doing the jigsaw puzzling..

As I made my way to pay the fees and entering the classroom, there's only one lady sitting in the big classroom. I thought it will be like around 1+ plus as I'm there 1/2 hr early.. Time flies, slowly one by one; new faces appeared into the class... starting from the age of around mid 20s to late 40s. WELCOME to the postgraduate class!! This is what pop up into my mind! I sense a 'generation gap'! But.. at the same time, very happy as I know that I have a lot of things to learn from this group of ppl. It's no around 1+plus students, but 34 of them included me!

As the course coordinator going thru the introductions, suddenly my head is heavy and I ended up entertaining my headache rather than listening to her. The headache has reduced after the introduction; but I'm under tremendous emotion disturbed as she said that the college don't offered the specialization that I want and I have to do e-learning??!! I felt that I have been cheated!!! I will see how it goes.. as I have the b&w with me! (for those that reading this, no worries, I will handle it one!)

Back to the class, after seeing so many classmate; I felt so stress that I'm not able to do well. Many times, there's repeated bothering emotions that comes to me and tell me not to continue study anymore and why makes myself so suffer!!! Oh Gosh! What a LOSER I am! The class haven't start, I already want to quit!!

I went to church just now with a very heavy heart and burden soul....
But the sermon today speaks to me and it's a about ' THE PRIESTLY PRIVILEGE of BELIEVER!' I have JESUS CHRIST with me, what should I fear? whom should I fear? It's just an assignment and exam; it's only KNOWLEDGE!! Why should I fear knowledge? I must be kidding myself if I quit and run away from KNOWLEDGE!

Since this is my initial decision and choice that I have make; I will do it to the end!
No REGRET! Cause LORD JESUS is with me on the boat.. so I can face the 'storm' with SMILE!

your way or the Highway?

2008-11-07T08:02:00.000-08:00

Finally it's the end of my busy and hectic 'PR' job for my work stuff. It's great to get to know the person that you have being talking and mailings around 10-15 mails per day and never ever meet before for 5 yrs! It's not my first 'PR' task since working but it seems like my first 'PR' after my superior left and I have to go alone. :-(

Yes, for those who are reading this mail; you might be thinking.."Tracy, it's your chance now! Show all the colors that you have!" Yup, I don't deny that ever since my superior left, I have given more responsibilities and chances. It's pros and cons for me! It's a chance for me to grow and know how much colors that I have to show and use. But at the same time, I understand how hard my superior has fight and defend me previously and how i missed her!! Yes, I don't deny she is a tough one and all my colleagues are amazed on how I can work with her; but we just make the best team!

I have a very tough time yesterday to control my 'emotion' and I had never experience and 'uncontrollable' situation on my emotion especially during any biz meetings! I always kept my own 'professional rules and ways' when I'm at work. But yesterday, it's the first ever in my life that I knew the feeling of being trampled on the ground like an unwanted rose! My eyes are with tears (still inside the eye.. cant let it come out.. so... no one knows!) when I saw my 'ex' superior and it is in front of my guests! I felt so humiliated and why I have to 'suffer' here! Ppl keeps portrayed me as watever 'nonsense' senior and guiding a team .. bla bla bla... and then now.. they 'spit' onto my face in front of my guest and the team. And at the end, they said they are just trying to achieve the outcome to get more 'sales', 'power', and a kind of 'show off'? They claimed that 'it's an 'MOTIVATION' !! Hey guys... if anyone of u reading this and think that ppl spitting onto your face is motivational, be their guests!

I really thank God that I kept quite and be as speechless as possible! Even though how internally I have lost all the emotional control and started to getting tired of listening to any single word that they are talking. The longer that I stayed the faster I will burst out! To be frank, from that moment onwards I have opened up my eyes on the 'real world' on the so-called 'entrepreneur world'. For all the BOMBASTIC words that biz books teached on back-stabbing, red tape and office 'politics'.. I thought that i'm lucky that I dont need to go thru it... I'm absolutely wrong and too innocent to think of the escape!

There's a repeated questions on my mind now whether I should follow their way? the HIGHWAY? or my way? I have my own principles to keep and too much of insecurity and prudence is what I need the most! But will anyone appreciate it? will anyone praise you for this? NO!!!! What they will said is I'm in CRISIS and very DESPERATE!!!! GO and GET it DONE; this is WHY I PAY U so GET IT DONE, I WANT RESULT! How ironic it is when they want result at split second and u need to give them big bucks!

I'm sorry that this round no good testimony to share and it just another pages of my lives that I'm going thru now. I haven't emotionally recovered.... gives me time.. and if you got time.. pray for me.

May God be with you guys too.

He is watching over me from the TOP

2008-10-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

It has been an exhausted and tiring day for me after a day of 'firefighting' in the workplace. My 'battery' can be off anytime now..... Even though the current world economic is tough, share mkt drop, foreign exchange dropped, biz is tough... everything seems to be very very very bad..... HE who is at the TOP there..is watching over me... I'm not saying this for the sake to keep you guys encouraged by reading my blog but I just knew that GOD is watching over me. Let me share...

There's has been a few sleepless nite for the last few days due to some business prob which kept me awake in the middle of the night to think of solutions to get it done. To be frank, I have no confidence that I can do it but I woke up in the middle of nite and prayed over it. The next day, when I wrote the mail, I prayed and ask God to bless me and the other party will have favor on me as I totally have no confidence that it will work out as how I wished. After few days of no respond from that party, I started to wonder why no respond but there's peace in me with no stress and tense has gone (maybe I know I have did what I can... the rest is up to God ). Guess wat! Today, I received an email from the contact giving me around 85% of what I request (I dont even have the faith that I can get 50% of it) and he is offering help to solve the prob that I face! God indeed has sent His angel to me! How can I deny His existence when HE is so REAL to me! I have failed God thousands or millions times, but HIS LOVE to me never fail and HE is as FAITHFUL as ever!

Besides from work, there's no good news from my family as my mom keeps calling me during my work time to 'talk and complain' but I really thank God for the patient that I have eventhough I'm extremely stress with work. To be frank, I nearly bursted out yesterday when my mom keeps 'screaming' and 'scolding'; but there's a 'small voice' inside me that telling me to keep 'quite' and listen only so she cut off the phone when she is done. I prayed over it last nite and this morning, the situation are getting better and her 'emo' is under control. Phew... (with sweat) at least this things can be put aside while I can concentrate and focus on the 'BIG stuff' in front of my eyes on now..

I better take a rest now.. I have more fire to put off tomorrow.... need a refresh and renew strength to do it.....

Live Life with a Purpose

2008-10-12T00:42:00.000-07:00

It has been borthering me for the whole week and I just dont know why!
I have treated my 'boss' and colleagues very badly that I'm the best example of a Sunday christian and not 'glowing' for the Lord in my mktplace. I hate who I'm at that time; but my emotion just took over me which caused me to concentrate on it rather than really do sth to over it! It has reached a point that I'm planning a date to tender my resignation again due to the fustration that i had. I thank God that eventhough I have an extremely 'blues' weekdays but God never stopped talking to me via my bros and sis in church. To be frank I'm wondering who I am today if God is not there to watch over me! The actual temper, emo, thoughts and action that within me; without God, none of it bring glory to Him.

I still remember there's one time, my boss mentioned abt the temper that each one of us has in workplace; but when he come to me, he dont know what to say on my temper as I never really show it (besides my dark face with the sign "dont get near"), nth more gua.. i think. It's not easy to lead ppl when all of them sees you as the same as them. I thank God again for the wisdom He gave me to deal with some communications problem in work places and it works well so far. But in order to speak with authority and wisdom, I have a long way to learn from God.

I have been praying for quite some times on the areas that I can serve the Lord as I'm now not really involved in any areas of the church ministry besides attending shared group. Someone and pastor have apporached me on one of the role in church that will be vacant as one of the sister will be leaving soon. I have struggled over the decision whether to take up the role/task or not as this role need a person who is very organised and systematic. No one will believe that this is the Tracy that they know if that person knows me well cause I'm extremely inorganized! I have talked to several person on this role and one things that touched and speaks to me is that if your heart is willing, God will just bless you! The church don't really need the most talented ppl to serve there but a willing heart is the most important. So....

Last nite, I have said 'YES' to be the church secretary and be one of the council members. It's a privilenge and honor for me to serve the Lord but this secretary roles, is the role that if possible I will do my best to runaway from. I hate to do documentations and inorganised person but I took up this challenge because I see the need of the church in this area and also it's a training ground for myself to be more organised and systematic. May the Lord bless me!

My MBA course going to start soon... I'm getting nervous and worried as it has been long time that I left my colleage and this is my first expereince in working + study at the same time! Not easy but for dream and knowledge, I have to strive over it. Please pray that I can cope with it when the class started in mid Nov 2008. (Actually... what I'm going to miss most is my 'traveling' ... going to be less and less soon..)

I'm BACK and BLESSED!

2008-09-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

29th August 2008

It's always an undeniable fact that God is always GOOD to me! I have a great and wonderful trip to Gold Coast! After the 'nite mare' of being left behind by the group; finally I get myself on plane to Sdyney for transit to Gold Coast! To be frank, I have a sleepless nite with an panda eyes when I'm on board as the sense of rejection is so huge to me that I started to have the phobia to travel. (Thanks to God that I have overcome it!)

I like JETSTAR's service very much! They are really caring and 'professional' even though they are the budget airline. The experience that I have with them is really unforgetable as they respect the passengers and gives you the service that you deserved! This experience was for example, my seat neighbour falls asleep during the last meal serve and he cant get to buy his breakfast as the session was already over; but the stewardess understand that he was hungry as the flight from KL to Sydney is long journey! Guess what! She give him 2 snack bun for free!! Actually not the 'free stuff' that has attracted me but it's the customer service that they provided to the passengers that has impressed me.

The transit from Sydney International Airport to the Domestic Airport is not a walking distance as I assumed it is. I want to praise God that He has a PERFECT timing for everything!! Even though this was my first time to Sydney Airport, I managed to get my way to the Domestic Airport! It's a real great experience to travel and be into this 'adventures'!

It's a always blessing to have someone there available to pick a 'lost sheep'! Hehee.. I'm the lost sheep lor.. The organizer, Har has arranged and get a 'handsome' guy to pick me up at Gold Coast Airport to MovieWorld directly. It's a great day!! I have quit from taking all the 'funny' rides for quite sometimes but once I stepped into the MovieWorld; I cant resist to join back the crowd and takes all the 4 and 5 star rate rides! (No joke on one of the rides - Superman Escape that I took, the experience was like My body is ahead of me but my hearts and aware was 3seconds behind! It's really a great time to be there... and I'm extremely exhausted that nite!

30th August 2008
We went to Paradise Farm and at there; we 'expereince' the real Australian farm by watching people sherding the sheep, Billie Jean's and boomerang performance. It's quite a wonderful experience as I never saw it before. :-p

At that nite, I went over to my cousin's aparment to overnite and her place is really magnificent! The view that oversees the whole Surfer's Paradise is great and the enviroment is superb! We went for a walk after the dinner; but I get an "EGG ATTACK" from the Australian! This was just a split seconds that my jeans with full egg and egg shell!! My cousin thought initially that someone from the apartment has throw an egg out from the apartment but in the end, we agreed that the egg was from the car that drove on the road.. No matter where the egg came from, I've been attacked by egg and I have to end my night early. To my own surprise, I dont really feel anything as this is just a small little things compared to missing the flight and have to catch another flight here to Gold Coast. Not a big deal, I can just wash my jeans and my cousin's house is just a walking distance. Egg.. So WHAT!

Not to mention on the EGG Attack; I've a great blessings from my cousin as she motivated and inspired me with alot of teaching from the bible especially on the TALENTS! God has given us alot of Talents; Use it for His Kingdam and God will call you " GOOD and FAITHFUL SERVANT" !! This sharing really speaks to me and I'm still searching on how I can give back to God and serve His People. Besides that, there's another one advice that I grabed hold the most is Always move FORWARD; not SIDEWARD! Face your challenge and overcome it!

31st August 2008
As per expected, my cousin is a workalcoholic! I thought she will bring me to church but her staff absence from work so she will have to replace her for the morning shift and not able to make it to bring me to church. And to my surprise and shocked, she passed me the car key with a map to Carrara mkt! Guys, this is my first day (less than 18hrs) in Surfer's Paradise! But I took the 'kiasu' challenge from her and drove myself to Carrara mkt in a Camry (the biggest car that I ever drive in my lives!) When I reached Carrara mkt, to be very frank; I very proud with myself that I can make it there safely! (Thank God for His protection!)

But.. I'm lost on my way back! :-( (Don't laugh at me lar!) I used less than 15mins to arrive Carrara mkt but around 1hr to be back to Surfers Paradise! No matter how, I'm stil back to Surfer's Paradise safe and sound,k! Hahaha... I'm PROUD of myself! I prayed very hard one ar... cause my cousin just let me know the building colors and landmark along the road to Carrara without mentioning the road name!

Hehehe.. more to share is.. I ate Lobster that nite!! Hehehe.. It's really delicious!!! But.. I'm too tired to really enjoy and taste the food...

1st Sept 2008
A group of 5 of us went to Mt. Tambourine this day; the view of the mount is magnificent and very very peaceful! I wish to go back there once again to enjoy every single corner of the mount because the trip was quite rush as we followed the tour arrangement. The expereince in wine tasting in the winery is really something new to me and I enjoyed it very much!

We went to Surfer's Paradise after the tour and I went to say Good bye to my cousin. Out of my expectation, my cousin blessed me with some supports! I'm proud with her success in her career life and her determination in her work is really sth that I need to learn from her very much.

2nd Sept 2008
Wake up early in the morning and back to M'sia lor... But I really thank God as He just send angel to us. My luggage confirmed overweight but we just managed to get ppl that dont shopped to have a group checked in with us to avoid the penalty of overweight.

We need to get a tax rebate with the Australia custom but I cant carry liquid products on board; as we arrived the airport, we managed to get a customer officer to help us to inspect and get all the procedures smoother! God is GOOD ALL THE TIME!

I've been OFFLOAD by AIR ASIA and AU Govt!

2008-08-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

What a day that I have!!! A most of you know that I'm traveling to Gold Coast now! And at this time, I should be in the plane; SLEEPING!! But guess what! I've been offload by AirAsia Crew and Aussie representative before I can get on board! Sigh.. All this, I will throw back the blame to myself as I'm too arrogant to thought that I'm have traveled to Australia before and it should not have any prob! Sigh.. Guess you must be wondering what has really happened!

The matters started when I'm holding 2 passport! One a renew passport and another one an old passport which I have passed to my colleague to apply for visa. I used my own understanding to assume that there' should be no problem as i can just explain to the officer why I bring 2 passport. But, as I understand I have to applied a new one once the old one is no longer 'active' (still have more than 6mth validity). My initial intention to renew the passport was due to my preparation to UK; that's the reason why.

All of the officers told me that it's luckily that they find it out while i'm in Malaysia otherwise I will be put into 'jail'? when I'm in Aus. Is this real? No matter how, they don't let me to be on board as they claimed the airline will be fine at 15K (RM or AUD?). Conclusion, I have to get another ticket today and fly again to Gold Coast to meet up with my colleague on 29/8. I feel so bad as I have created such an 'issue' to them and makes them worries about me! But I still thankful for the 'second' opportunity to go to Gold Coast as the company is willing to pay for me the ticket; but it's my responsibility so there's some responsibility which I should take.

What a day! YEs.. Disappointment... it is confirmed. But what has come to my surprise is that during hr and time; HE sent angel too to be there with me. To be frank, Air Asia crew and the Aussie representative did gives me alot of information and advice how on strict it is with Australia govt.

I have booked my second ticket and get my another visa done for the flight tomorrow note. God bless me this time! Otherwise, I really hav to think where else I can go to spend my 5 days.....

Drown in work...

2008-08-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

It has been quite sometimes that I have severe backache and a very stiff/hard shoulder muscle ache. Besides this, my temper has become very very bad and most of my college can just feel and sense it ... I also wonder what has happened to me! My current role in the company is like a consultant agent to help and advice my new colleagues on the informations/ideas on how to approach some of the matters/issues that they faces... to be frank, i love to do it when I'm 'free'... But recently.. I'm totally lost focus on my own KPI; frustrations started to overwhelm me.. I need God!!
I feel so alone most of the time in the company; I know it's the time now for me to stand up and learn to make decision! But God's strength and guidance is what I need the most!! Without Him, to be very frank.. I will be totally lost in time! God help me... I'm starting to drown now...

Besides the bitter part of my busy work schedule; I wanna PRAISE GOD for I will be going for a week of break in Gold Coast next week!!! It's a great 'runaway'.. when I'm so drown in work... there's a rainbow waiting for me at the next corner of my lives where I can the time to take some fresh air in Gold Coast and make my mind more clear and focus! I cant wait for it anymore!!!

Another exciting part of my 2008 planning is I'm going to start my MBA class soon in Nov lar!!! I cant wait to be a student and be back to college live again! Yes, it's not the same as I'm doing it in a part time basis but at least I'm realizing my dream... Thank God!

Going back this weekend to visit my parents, cant wait to hug my naughty Alston too! What a lovely rewards after all the hardship that I get in KL.. Ayer Tawar.. I'm coming home....

Time just flies..

2008-08-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

Time just flies.. and now it's End of Mid Aug.. and it'll be End Aug 2008 very very soon and then.. I'm flying to Gold Coast for a week of holiday!! Phew! What a life that I have, great? wonderful? admiring? Erm.. for me.. I do admit that I have enjoying alot of 'luxury' in lives.

Last Friday, I went to a fine dining French Restaurant for my superior's farewell gathering. This is the first time ever in my life to a 'fine dining' place and in fact, I did felt good and enjoyed the environment. Hehehe... just the 'crowd' are the 'right' one, otherwise it is just 'prefect'! hehehe.. :-p

I really Thank God for the opportunities in career, lives, spiritual, ministry, family that I have all these while! I can't wait for my MBA classes to start to begin another new steps in my lives towards maturity! I have a very strong desire to 'change' my wardrobe dress for this new beginning of my lives and I will do it one day!

It's a HOT DAY today!!!! got to 'off' the keyboard for some cold drink.... continue again......

Meeting with 'Angel" and Wonderful Olympic Opening in Beijing 2008!

2008-08-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

After week of busy 'entertaining' my own schedule; finally now i managed to 'steal' some 'precious' moment with my blog. A lot of interesting event happened during the week and one of them was car broke down!

Last Thursday nite as my regular sport day; I was rushing home to change my clothes and got myself ready for the my 'new shared group' meeting but.. as I went to the petrol station to refill some fuel! My car just 'died' after that and after several attempt to get the engine started, yet... the car still remain silent!! This is the FIRST time in my life; facing this situation!! Thank God, my bro was at home and I'm also very near to home; so my rescue '911' just appeared within few minutes. With the thought that my bro is an 'experience car electrician', he should has no prob handling the 'prob' that we faced now.. but.. I'm wrong.. ( sad to say but dont tell him!) During the time as my bro trying to figure out what was wrong with the car; 'an angel' just appeared out of no where!! Initially my bro and I thought, he was from 'car accident' company and also like others 'k por' that always came and talk with the intention to earn your money.

And he proved us wrong!! He is not the same race as us and we never thought that he really came to offer his hands of help to us! He offered his car battery to do the 'jump start' for our car and my car came 'ALIVE' again! Thank God for the angel! But the story not yet ended, he has misplaced one of the screw of his battery and ending up, we have to do some 'treasure hunt' to look for the screw. And Yes, he found out in this car in the end! It's a wonderful experience but I missed the 'shared group' meeting. :-(

Last Friday... (08/08/2008)
Beijing Olympic 2008 Opening!!! It was great, amazing, magical, wonderful and I have lost my words for this wonderful event!! Without notice to be very frank, my tears fall as I watched the Olympic Opening in front of my 'ants screen' tv; I'm proud with China! Every single performance of the opening has opened up my 'small' eye to this wonderful country! The 5000 yrs of history that they have created was a GREAT story to tell the world!

After watching the event. it seems like an awakening to me as I've being traveling averagely half a year once (even though this seems like quarterly once); but in my travel list I never put China into my list as I have heard too much 'interesting toilet' story from previous visitors to the country. But now, seeing the greatness and effort the Chinese community has putting into this great event. I'm seriously looking into considering to visit some of the states and planning a trip to visit my own hometown in Kutien, Hockchew with my parents one day as this has being their dream for years!

Good bye to my weekend; and Hi to my battle net!

"Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Ex20:12

2008-07-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

Supposed to be posted on 21st July 2008

For the last few days, this verse " Honor your father and your mother" keeps coming back to me.. no matter day or night; it just keep repeatedly appeared to me. But I just don't know why so I just ignore it as I'm have put my focus to make sure I have the right decision using on my own understanding and strength.

To be frank, deep down in my heart I'm not willing to let go but I knew it well that I can no longer be selfish anymore, I need to learn to care for others especially my parents. All these while, my focus is what I want and how my parents can provide to me; never ever in my thoughts that I ever think of what can I do to my parents. Their unconditional love has pampered and spoilt me!!! Since young till now, they are always my best supporters in the earth !! Even though I have make thousands of mistakes and failed them; they comforted me and said.. "It's ok! WE love U"!! Do I deserve this? "YES" was the answered in my mind all this while because for me, this is the 'standard criteria' of parents! How wrong am I!!! And what a shame to me!!!

After much conflict within myself, finally I have decided to make the decision to stay back in Malaysia to further my studies. As I informed my parents on my final decision, they were just like the world most happiest person and all their burden is release!!! To be frank, I feel relief after I made the decision and I just dont understand why that I still believe my dream will not just ended here... I will make it a reality ONE DAY and I'm confidence God will watch over me, if this is HIS WILL and not mine!

As I have done with my decision making, I have shared it with one of my best friends in overseas, what I told her was only " Honor your parents" and she reminded me of the next God's promise when I honored my parents; which is "...so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you" In Ex 20:12.

What I would said is as long as I honor God; His promised never fails! I Love YOU, Jesus!

Thank YOU very much, LORD!

2008-07-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today is a great day for me as God answered my prayer and He is just there when I needed HIM the most.. Everything is very routine to me during my working hrs but I thank God that I managed to earn some orders for the company before I left. I'm always proud of myself as a 'PREMIUM' trader... (hehe...) But very soon.. all this will only become part of the 'history' or experience in my life and for the company, it just a figure that they normally earned monthly. Haha... how sarcastic it sounds rite.... but no one can deny that this is the FACT! If you ask me whether I will be missing my colleagues, business contacts or partners and customer or not; YES will definitely be my answer. Some of my contacts that knew my leaving End Aug, we just simply cant help by changing the relationship status from contacts to friends. I really Thank God for sending 'real friends' into my workplace.

After ending the hectic day; another side of 'hectic' was just the beginning... mainly due to misunderstanding, we spent the whole nite 'debating' over it. To be frank, I came to that meeting with ' no peace' in my heart even though I have prayed over it but still I'm struggle to get over the 'feeling' in the meeting. God's way is always the most 'sweetest' and BEST way! HE use another person to clear the 'misunderstanding' that we spent more than 1 hr to talk using God's word! hahaha.... Hallelujah and PRAISE His HOLY NAME! What I learned thru this incident is.. If you are doing God's work; God will be there to speak to us when we are lost!
God will watch over His Shepherd because if His shepherd is lost and confused, how the shepherd going to lead the sheep? HE will not let us 'figure it out' ourself, He will LEAD and shepherd HIS shepherd.

Using Blogspot upon HIGH demands...

2008-07-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

Here you guys.. this is TRACY WONG's blog!!! Sigh.. have to use blogspot as almost everyone in FCC is using it now.. If Tracy Wong still using the old 'multiply' guess... I will be left behind soon by you ... (you lar.. the one that is reading my blog now!) hehehe....

So I'm a newbies here.. so don't bully me ya!! Guess, I dont need any 'orientation' here... I will DIY myself.... more to come... so ... free.. check this blog and my 'multiply' also lar ya....

God bless everyone..