Wednesday, October 29, 2008

He is watching over me from the TOP

It has been an exhausted and tiring day for me after a day of 'firefighting' in the workplace. My 'battery' can be off anytime now..... Even though the current world economic is tough, share mkt drop, foreign exchange dropped, biz is tough... everything seems to be very very very bad..... HE who is at the TOP there..is watching over me... I'm not saying this for the sake to keep you guys encouraged by reading my blog but I just knew that GOD is watching over me. Let me share...

There's has been a few sleepless nite for the last few days due to some business prob which kept me awake in the middle of the night to think of solutions to get it done. To be frank, I have no confidence that I can do it but I woke up in the middle of nite and prayed over it. The next day, when I wrote the mail, I prayed and ask God to bless me and the other party will have favor on me as I totally have no confidence that it will work out as how I wished. After few days of no respond from that party, I started to wonder why no respond but there's peace in me with no stress and tense has gone (maybe I know I have did what I can... the rest is up to God ). Guess wat! Today, I received an email from the contact giving me around 85% of what I request (I dont even have the faith that I can get 50% of it) and he is offering help to solve the prob that I face! God indeed has sent His angel to me! How can I deny His existence when HE is so REAL to me! I have failed God thousands or millions times, but HIS LOVE to me never fail and HE is as FAITHFUL as ever!

Besides from work, there's no good news from my family as my mom keeps calling me during my work time to 'talk and complain' but I really thank God for the patient that I have eventhough I'm extremely stress with work. To be frank, I nearly bursted out yesterday when my mom keeps 'screaming' and 'scolding'; but there's a 'small voice' inside me that telling me to keep 'quite' and listen only so she cut off the phone when she is done. I prayed over it last nite and this morning, the situation are getting better and her 'emo' is under control. Phew... (with sweat) at least this things can be put aside while I can concentrate and focus on the 'BIG stuff' in front of my eyes on now..

I better take a rest now.. I have more fire to put off tomorrow.... need a refresh and renew strength to do it.....

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Live Life with a Purpose

It has been borthering me for the whole week and I just dont know why!
I have treated my 'boss' and colleagues very badly that I'm the best example of a Sunday christian and not 'glowing' for the Lord in my mktplace. I hate who I'm at that time; but my emotion just took over me which caused me to concentrate on it rather than really do sth to over it! It has reached a point that I'm planning a date to tender my resignation again due to the fustration that i had. I thank God that eventhough I have an extremely 'blues' weekdays but God never stopped talking to me via my bros and sis in church. To be frank I'm wondering who I am today if God is not there to watch over me! The actual temper, emo, thoughts and action that within me; without God, none of it bring glory to Him.

I still remember there's one time, my boss mentioned abt the temper that each one of us has in workplace; but when he come to me, he dont know what to say on my temper as I never really show it (besides my dark face with the sign "dont get near"), nth more gua.. i think. It's not easy to lead ppl when all of them sees you as the same as them. I thank God again for the wisdom He gave me to deal with some communications problem in work places and it works well so far. But in order to speak with authority and wisdom, I have a long way to learn from God.

I have been praying for quite some times on the areas that I can serve the Lord as I'm now not really involved in any areas of the church ministry besides attending shared group. Someone and pastor have apporached me on one of the role in church that will be vacant as one of the sister will be leaving soon. I have struggled over the decision whether to take up the role/task or not as this role need a person who is very organised and systematic. No one will believe that this is the Tracy that they know if that person knows me well cause I'm extremely inorganized! I have talked to several person on this role and one things that touched and speaks to me is that if your heart is willing, God will just bless you! The church don't really need the most talented ppl to serve there but a willing heart is the most important. So....

Last nite, I have said 'YES' to be the church secretary and be one of the council members. It's a privilenge and honor for me to serve the Lord but this secretary roles, is the role that if possible I will do my best to runaway from. I hate to do documentations and inorganised person but I took up this challenge because I see the need of the church in this area and also it's a training ground for myself to be more organised and systematic. May the Lord bless me!

My MBA course going to start soon... I'm getting nervous and worried as it has been long time that I left my colleage and this is my first expereince in working + study at the same time! Not easy but for dream and knowledge, I have to strive over it. Please pray that I can cope with it when the class started in mid Nov 2008. (Actually... what I'm going to miss most is my 'traveling' ... going to be less and less soon..)